If your girlfriend has 7 or more of these signs, my brother… congratulations. You are no longer in a relationship.
YOU ARE IN A GOVERNMENT.
Here are the signs:
- THEY WERE PROBABLY BORN BETWEEN APRIL, MAY, JULY, SEPTEMBER OR OCTOBER.
I don’t know what happens in those months, but apparently stubbornness is part of the maternity package.
- THEY ARE USUALLY SHORT OR AVERAGE HEIGHT.
Don’t be deceived by the height.
Some of the smallest women come with the largest operating systems.
She may be 5’1″, but her confidence is 6’8″.
- THEIR SHOE SIZE IS SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 37–41.
If you see size 37, 38, 39, 40 or 41…
RUN A BACKGROUND CHECK.
- THEY LOVE PLAITING LONG HAIR.
And whenever the hair is freshly plaited, the forehead starts shining like it has received divine lighting.
She will walk past you slowly like:
“Yes, I know I look good. Don’t disturb me.”
- THEY ARE MOSTLY LIGHT-SKINNED OR HAVE DISCOVERED THE MAGIC OF “TRANSFORMATION.”
Yesterday she was one shade.
Today she has discovered a new skincare routine and suddenly you’re dating 4K Ultra HD.
- THEY ARE VERY EMOTIONAL… BUT THEY CAN GET ANGRY IN 0.3 SECONDS.
Especially when dealing with tall people.
She’ll look at a 6’4″ man and say:
“Don’t use your height to intimidate me!”
Meanwhile, the man hasn’t even spoken.
- THEIR MOUTH IS THEIR WEAPON.
This one is serious.
She can threaten you, your parents, your children, your ancestors and people who haven’t even been born yet.
“I WILL DEAL WITH YOU!”
“YOU WILL REGRET KNOWING ME!”
“YOUR FAMILY WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!”
But give her one serious push…
SHE WILL START NEGOTIATING.
The tongue is powerful.
The muscles are still under investigation.
- THEY ARE ACTUALLY VERY LOVING AND CARING.
This is the part nobody tells you.
They may act tough.
They may insult you.
They may threaten to leave.
They may say:
“I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU!”
But five minutes later:
“Have you eaten?”
“Did you reach home?”
“Take this money.”
“Wear a jacket.”
Behind every stubborn girlfriend is sometimes a very soft heart wearing boxing gloves.
- THEY ARE ALWAYS WEARING EARPHONES.
You can call her name.
Nothing.
Call again.
Nothing.
Call her third time:
“BABY!”
She removes one earbud:
“What?”
“I’ve been calling you!”
“I didn’t hear you.”
OF COURSE.
She has been listening to music at a volume capable of communicating with satellites.
- THEY ARE EXTREMELY TALKATIVE AROUND PEOPLE THEY ARE COMFORTABLE WITH.
Outside:
“Good morning.”
Quiet. Respectful. Reserved.
At home with you:
Episode 1… Episode 2… Episode 47…
You check the clock.
THREE HOURS HAVE PASSED.
And the funniest part?
You actually enjoy listening.
Because somehow, after all the stubbornness, arguments, threats and drama… THAT SAME GIRL IS THE ONE WHO MAKES YOUR HEART FEEL AT HOME.
So if your girlfriend has all 10 signs… DON’T RUN. You probably already love her too much.
