By Paul Yeenie Harry
It is a common practice in Liberia that if a man who is a Christian, but a member of one denomination or congregation, decides to get married to a woman who is also a Christian, but a member of a different denomination or congregation, the marriage ceremony must be held in the woman’s congregation.
It is also the practice – or, rather, the nonsense – that once the wedding has taken place, the woman is required to become a member of the husband’s denomination or congregation. What nonsense practice!
In this world where the reality of individual differences is ever present and indisputable relevant, many people are promoting and protecting this nonsense, as if they were not aware that individual differences exist.
It is unimaginable that in this day and age, some would want us to accept as normal forcing a woman to compulsorily join her husband’s church all because he’s the man and his church must, by all means, be her church. This is quite mindboggling!
It is a known fact that other people do not – or, rather may not – usually think and act the way we do. People have their preferences. This is what is called individual differences. Even when it comes to choosing a life-time partner, some people prefer tall partners, while others prefer short ones. In the employment or career world, different individuals prefer different jobs. Some choose engineering or law, while others prefer accounting or driving.
Similarly, in religion, some prefer Christianity or Judaism, while others choose Islam or Hinduism. Even in Christianity, one individual may prefer one kind of denomination, say Catholic or Baptist, while the other individual may choose a completely different denomination, say, Methodist or Pentecostalism. This is an aspect of individual differences.
Interestingly, too, we learn from psychologists that the idea of individual differences is engendered by three basic factors, and they are as follows: confinement to those functions within the range of the human species, nature of the inheritance from the family line, and influences of the environmental experiences.
I strongly believe that people should be free to think and express their views or make choices based on their convictions, whether we are in line with those views and choices or not.  U.S. President John F. Kennedy who said, “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.”
With individual differences being a reality, why would an individual or a group of people compel a woman to join another person’s church all because she’s a woman and the other person is a man and husband? How so?
Furthermore, the idea of compelling a woman to join her husband’s church all because she’s a woman goes against Jesus Christ’s salvation plan, as joining a church is, or should be, a personal decision. A person’s relationship with God is a personal relationship, so no one can be or should be forced to make that decision. Salvation is a personal thing.
Hence, we often hear, “Know God for yourself,” not know God for other people of because of your husband. In Philippians 2:12, we read: “Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.”
Besides, telling a woman to join her husband’s church all because she is a woman and he is the man is complete nonsense because it deprives the woman of her right to freely and volitionally associate or not to associate, which is also a constitutionally right that must be protected, not proscribed. It denies her of her personal decision-making power or right. It forces a woman to do things against her will.
Moreover, compelling a woman to join her husband’s church after marriage presents the woman as a subservient, easy-to-use, gullible, right-less human being. It presents the woman as a creature that can be pushed around anytime, all because she’s a woman.
What if the woman’s heart and soul do not deeply prefer the man’s church? What if her spirit does not lead her in that direction? We are all equal before the law. We are all also equal before God. Why should the woman be subjected to such a treatment? Is it because she’s a woman? That’s even the most annoying part!
So, if the husband leaves that church and joins a second church, the woman is forced to join that second church? And if the man leaves the second church and joins a third church, the woman is also forced to join the third church? Actually, it will be about the woman joining because of her husband, not because of the love of God and His Son, Jesus Christ. Isn’t this pure nonsense?
Additionally, compelling a woman to join her husband’s church all because she is married to the man could destroy the woman’s faith in the Lord. What if before the wedding, the woman were a member of a truly Bible-believing church, while the man were not? What if the man was a member of a church that had very weird teachings and practices that deny the deity of Christ, the death, the burial, and the resurrection of Jesus Christ?
Forcing the woman to follow her husband all because she is a woman and the man married could be something that destroys her spiritual standing with God, and it should not be allowed.
Even if we were to bring in the concept of evangelism, compelling a woman to join her husband’s church because of marriage goes against the principles of evangelism. Jesus’s plan is that the good news should be preached to all, and people should be free to accept or reject the gospel.
To conclude this article, permit me to leave you with the words of the Apostle Paul, as recorded in I Corinthians 7 verses 12-17: “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.”
Anyway, my people, da how I see it-o!
